When was the last time you thought about your values? Values are something that we all know we have, but we often don’t know how to define them or even which ones are most important to us. Values can help us live more authentically, make decisions, and grow our sense of self-worth.
What are values?
Values are a set of beliefs or opinions that influence how you live your life.
We have to make a lot of choices in life, and values can help guide those choices so that we’re living in a way that is aligned with what we believe. You can use your values as a kind of road map for where you are in life right now to help you prioritize things and make decisions. You can also use your values to define yourself as a person, since they represent what is most important to you.
How do I decide what’s important to me?
Your values are developed based on the experiences you have in life and what’s important to you. Early on, many of us are taught values by our caregivers. We learn more in school and in the workplace, and even more as we grow and develop relationships with others. You’ll find what values fit your beliefs over time.
You may find that what is important to you is different from your caregivers as you get older. As you have more and more experiences, you’ll discover values that are meaningful to you. It’s okay to have different values at different points in your life – every season of life is different.
Can my values change?
Values don’t stay the same for a lifetime. As you grow and have new experiences, your values may shift. You may find that what you believed when you were younger doesn’t resonate with you as much anymore. You might go through something that influences what is important to you, like losing a loved one or becoming a parent. As you change, what is important to you will likely change as well, and that’s okay.
Shifting values is one reason why it’s helpful to regularly define your what’s important to you. Values don’t tend to shift quickly, so this isn’t something you need to do every month, or even every year. However every few years, it may be beneficial to sit down and figure out what your current values are so you can keep living in a way that is aligned with those values.
How can I decide what I value right now?
There are lots of important things to value in life, but it’s impossible to value everything. There just isn’t enough time! To start defining your what’s important to you, you can consult a list of common values and pick out a few (like five or six) that really stand out to you.
You can also think about the people that you admire or love. What values do the people in your life have that you find important? Think about the things you admire about certain people – they don’t even have to be people that you know. Write down some values that you find admirable, and then see if you can spot any patterns between the values you picked and the values you admire. That’s a great starting point to decide what you value.
If you’re looking for some examples, here’s a list of common values:
- Accountability
- Achievement
- Adaptability
- Adventure
- Ambition
- Assertiveness
- Authenticity
- Authority
- Autonomy
- Awareness
- Balance
- Beauty
- Bravery
- Candor
- Cleanliness
- Cleverness
- Communication
- Community
- Compassion
- Compassion
- Confidence
- Consistency
- Creativity
- Curiosity
- Dependability
- Determination
- Empathy
- Ethics
- Exploration
- Fairness
- Faith
- Fame
- Family
- Friendships
- Fun
- Generosity
- Gratitude
- Growth
- Happiness
- Honesty
- Humor
- Imagination
- Individuality
- Integrity
- Intelligence
- Justice
- Kindness
- Knowledge
- Leadership
- Learning
- Love
- Loyalty
- Meaning
- Openness
- Optimism
- Passion
- Patience
- Peace
- Persistence
- Playfulness
- Pleasure
- Popularity
- Productivity
- Professionalism
- Reason
- Reputation
- Respect
- Responsibility
- Security
- Self-Respect
- Service
- Sharing
- Sincerity
- Skill
- Spirituality
- Stability
- Status
- Success
- Sustainability
- Timeliness
- Tolerance
- Tradition
- Trustworthiness
- Truth
- Understanding
- Uniqueness
- Wealth
- Wisdom
- Wonder
Go through this list, and highlight any values that resonate with you. See if you can spot any patterns or themes as that can help distill your values down even further. When you decide which ones are most important to you, write them down and keep it posted somewhere you’ll see it all the time. Try a note on your phone, a sticky note on your mirror, or a piece of paper on your fridge. Reminding yourself of your values can help you remember to use them to guide your decisions, instead of letting your emotions get the best of you.
If you’re looking for more support as you decide what your values are, talking it out in therapy can be a big help. Get in touch today to talk to one of our qualified therapists in Lake in the hills and Woodstock.
