When your goal is to put your relationship first – which is common – you need to know that it will not always stay exactly the same. Just like you and your partner, a relationship is going to change and grow. You’ll have to be ready for what that means for the future. A lot of couples find they grow apart as time goes on, which can happen to even the strongest relationships. A great way to make sure that you keep that spark alive and warm is to give the relationship room to grow alongside you.
Here are some great tips to help you do just that.
Understand and care about what interests your partner:
Your partner has interests and things that excite them, just like you do. So, take the time to really understand what it is that makes them happy and, most importantly, show some interest in it, too. Even if it wouldn’t normally interest you, knowing that the person you love cares about it so much should be enough for you to have a genuine interest, even if it is only small compared to your partner. They will appreciate your genuine interest and you’ll love having something else to share with them.
Tell them what you like about them:
We all have things we admire in our partners, whether it’s their smile, their bravery, or something else. Take the time each day to tell them what you love about them. It doesn’t need to be a big heart-to-heart confession over a bottle of wine. It can just be a quick text or note left on the kitchen counter or a passing comment as you go your separate ways. It helps keep the relationship warm and fulfilling for each person.
Focus on each other in a conversation:
Whether it’s over dinner while watching a TV show or driving in the car, listen to what your partner is telling you. A conversation with your partner should always be interesting – even if the topic isn’t – because you care about them and want to hear their thoughts on it. From daily events to something random on your partner’s mind, a conversation will help you understand what they’re thinking about and help you to be a part of it by actively listening to and validating what they’re saying.
Talk about the changes:
When a change comes your way in a relationship (as well as in your personalities or interests), you should talk about it and help your partner understand the change. Listen to their opinions or thoughts on it, and keep talking to each other. Whether the change is big or small, you have a responsibility to keep your partner informed. Make sure that you do the same for your partner, too, when they’re telling you about changes that they are going through.
Keep working on the relationship:
Over time, it’s easy to start to think that you’re “through” the changes and the relationship is permanent, but that’s not the case. From beginning to end, a relationship goes through big and little changes and each one should be acknowledged and welcomed by both people that are looking to make sure the relationship says healthy and happy for both people.
Your relationship is unique:
Your relationship is never the same as anyone else’s relationship, so make sure that you don’t let anyone else tell you that a relationship is healthy or “good” other than your partner. Only you and your loved one knows what’s going on in your relationship, so you are the only ones who can understand how to make it better and more fulfilling.
The Bottom Line
There is no recipe for success in a relationship that is tried and true. When you remember that growth is a critical part of it, you’ll be able to successfully move forward together as a couple. Your relationship will be able to grow alongside you so that you’ll be in a great place. Staying together for your whole lives is a wonderful goal to aspire to, and a strong relationship that is full of trust and love is certainly the way to get there.
Pivotal Counseling Center has therapists who work with couples and specialize in couples counseling and relationship issues. We have locations in Woodstock, Illinois, and Lake in the Hills, Illinois. If you are in need of someone to help, please consider giving us a call at (815) 345-3400.
Pivotal Counseling Center is now accepting Medicaid including Blue Cross Community Medicaid, Meridian Medicaid, and Molina Medicaid for outpatient counseling.
