Being a pet owner is a true joy. You’ll be able to experience all sorts of positive and uplifting moments that
can fill you with a lifetime full of memories. However, there comes a point in every pet owner’s life where they
have to say goodbye to their beloved furry family member. Despite what non-pet owners will tell you, losing a
pet is just as devastating as losing a human family member because pets are family.
Common feelings
Just like in human deaths, there are the typical five stages of grief that are associated with the loss:
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s typical to feel lost without your pet. Maybe you
find yourself boxing up all toys and hiding away all photos because it simply hurts too much to deal with them.
Perhaps, you find it easier, instead, to have his collar close by, or his favorite toys or blankets. Everyone is
different and grieves differently as a result. The thing to remember is that there is absolutely nothing wrong
with feeling this way no matter what other people may tell you, so make sure you do what you need in order to
deal with the loss.
What to do about it
So, what exactly should you do when you lose a pet? Firstly, as mentioned, feel what you feel. Cry, scream,
look at photos, talk to your recently deceased pet, just do what you need to do and don’t let anyone tell you
otherwise. Your emotions are valid and you deserve to express them.
Give yourself time to process everything. You aren’t expected to just bounce back a week later. Your feelings
are valid and it will be a process that you learn to live with and adjust day by day to, just like you do with
traditional loss. Consider the idea of sharing stories about your pet privately or publicly. Express some of
your favorite memories, and talk freely about your happy times with your pet. This will help you see that there
is still a lot of happiness to be had, even if it is tinged with sadness at first.
If and when you are ready, consider bringing home another pet. Having a companion can help a lot, and there’s
no reason to feel guilty, though a lot of pet parents often feel this way. You’re simply giving another pet a
loving and deserving home and you’re opening yourself up to all sorts of great new memories. Remember that you
gave your previous pet a great, happy life. Be proud of that. If this helps, think of your pet in terms when
making your decision: would s/he want you to be sad? No. So, if adopting another pet makes you feel good, then
do it!
On the other hand, if it makes you feel too upset, then you don’t ever need to bring another pet into your
home. You simply do what you feel is best for you, that’s the bottom line of everything. When enough time passes
that you know you aren’t going to adopt another pet, consider the idea of donating your supplies and toys to a
local shelter or rescue organization. You can keep a few of the more personal items for yourself, but know that
the items you’re donating will be well-loved and used by another pet parent who will appreciate the donation.
What this all means is that, like traditional grief and loss, losing a pet is hard and the owner will feel real
pain and grief. Do what you have to in order to feel in control of your life and cherish your pet’s memories.
Losing a pet – whether you’ve had him for 10 months or 10 years – is heartbreaking. and hard-hitting as losing a
human loved one, so make sure you remember that.
Pivotal Counseling Center has therapists with a variety of specialties, including grief and loss. We have locations in Woodstock, Illinois, and Lake in the Hills, Illinois. If you are in need of someone to help, please consider giving us a call at (815) 345-3400.
Pivotal Counseling Center is now accepting Medicaid including Blue Cross Community Medicaid, Meridian Medicaid, and Molina Medicaid for outpatient counseling.
