We’re reaching the end of November now, which means the holiday season has officially begun creeping in on us.
As we head up on Thanksgiving this year, we’re bound to be a little uncertain about how we’re feeling this holiday season. While this time of year is often focused on gratitude, this year many of will still be feeling the grief that comes with living through a pandemic.
On the one hand, it doesn’t seem like there is a lot to be thankful for this year and we might not even be able to see the family we typically see during the holidays due to Covid, which can make us dread the upcoming season. On the other hand, it is nice (and even relieving at this point!) to have something to look forward to, and a holiday might be that for you.
Can both of these feelings be true at once?
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: 2020 has been a stressful, grief filled year. The holiday season represents the end of the year, which can feel like hope since 2020 has run us all so ragged. And while plans might look different, they are still something to look forward to in a year filled with so much distance between all of us. But it also means confronting the fact that the holidays this year will not look like they have in previous years for us. We might not be able to participate in family events or get togethers with loved ones, or yearly traditions that are important to us. And that can cause a lot of grief.
How can we honor both our gratitude for a reason to celebrate and be with loved ones, as well as our grief over what we’ve lost this year?
Journaling can be a great way to process, explore, understand, and express our feelings. Because of the private nature of the activity, journaling provides you with a safe space to be 100% yourself, express 100% of your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement or ridicule. That makes it an incredibly vulnerable practice, but also an incredibly valuable one.
Below, we’ve put together two lists of journal prompts for this holiday season. One for exploring and expressing grief, and one for exploring and expressing gratitude, with a bonus prompt exploring how the two impact one another.
Journal prompts for grief:
- “The COVID-19 has changed how I celebrate the holidays by…”
- “The changes I’ve gone through this year include…”
- “The losses I want to honor this holiday season include…”
- “I can honor those losses by…”
- Write a letter to 2020 self, acknowledging all the hard things you went through
- Write a letter to the “ghosts” of 2020: the things you wished happened but weren’t able to. What did you hope to get from them? How would your 2020 have been different if those things had happened?
- Write a care plan for 2021: how will you tend to the wounds left from the grief & loss you’ve experienced living through this pandemic? How will you tend to your emotional health? How will you honor the grieving process that comes with living through a wide scale trauma like this?
- What traditions will you miss this year? Is there any way to honor those traditions in another way?
Journal prompts for gratitude:
- What is one thing you can look forward to this upcoming holiday season?
- Who is one person who has helped you manage stress, sorrow, etc. this year?
- How have you grown closer to the person that you want to be over the last year?
- How are you managing holiday celebrations this year? Take a moment to be grateful for yourself and your loved ones coming up with alternative ways to celebrate this year.
- What are new ways you can celebrate safely this year? If you don’t normally send holiday cards, consider sending some this year! If you don’t celebrate any of the religious holidays coming up, see if you can send flowers to loved ones for Thanksgiving, or cards to friends for New Years. What other ways can you stay connected?
- Think about what you’ve been most grateful for in 2020. How can you increase the presence of those people, things, events, etc. in your life in 2021?
Grief + gratitude:
What has your grief taught you? The intense emotions we feel after any major loss or change can teach us a lot about ourselves. When we feel the impact of that loss, our reaction (whatever it is: sorrow, frustration, emptiness, etc.) is giving us information about our needs, our values, or our desires. It can illuminate for us what is most important to us, through the pain we experience when we no longer have whatever that is. That pain lets us know the loss is significant to us; that it matters and has a real impact on our lives, and is not something to be dismissed.
And when we’re done with our own grieving process, we can look back and see what we’ve learned about ourselves. What has your grief taught you about yourself? How can you express gratitude to yourself for allowing yourself to grieve? How can you express gratitude for what you’ve learned about yourself?
If you need more ideas for journaling prompts or questions to ask yourself during this time, our clinicians are offering online therapy appointments!
Pivotal Counseling Center is now accepting Medicaid including Blue Cross Community Medicaid, Meridian Medicaid, and Molina Medicaid for outpatient counseling.
