It’s not always easy to be in a relationship. Moving forward as a couple means that you’ll need to focus on prioritizing your partner and your relationship, even when it’s difficult. Sometimes a couple will make it and other times it won’t. The goal is to always make sure that you are in a relationship that fulfills you and makes you understand how life can be so much sweeter when you have your soulmate at your side.
The key to knowing that you’ve got the right person starts with understanding that you are in a relationship that is healthy. Unhealthy relationships will only deteriorate over time and end up hurting both people in the long run. Take a look at the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships:
Healthy Relationships:
Take time for each other every day:
Whether it’s enjoying a few minutes together after work, taking a walk first thing in the morning, carpooling, going on a date night, or just enjoying some alone time, a healthy relationship is one in which both partners make time for each other. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or long- it can be just a little “Hey, I’m thinking about you and want to you to know it,” token that will keep the spark alive and both partners happy.
Give small gifts every once in a while:
Gifts often get elaborate, but even little love notes, a bouquet of flowers, candy, a funny card, all great “just because” gifts. Gifts can help brighten a gloomy day or simply remind you and your partner that you’ve got someone at your side.
Have lives outside of each other:
Making sure that you enjoy external lives with your own friends is part of a healthy relationship. This enriches your life and helps you appreciate your relationship even more. A with a partner who truly loves you and wants what’s best for you will understand and encourage you to have your own thing going on, much like you will for your partner as well.
Feel free but also protected:
A healthy relationship should leave you feeling free to try new hobbies, explore new talents, and enjoy an interesting life both with and without your partner. You should always feel comfortable expanding your relationship and talking about topics that matter to you. A healthy relationship means that you’ll feel free to do all these things while also feeling supported and protected by your partner, no matter what the situation is. Your partner doesn’t necessarily have to agree with you on everything that you do, but they should always support you and be there for you (and vice versa).
Unhealthy Relationships:
Feel suffocated:
An unhealthy relationship will leave one or both partners feeling trapped or smothered. Whether it’s spending every second together, having constant texts and social media interruptions when going out on your own, or just feeling as though the relationship is going nowhere – these are all signs that the relationship isn’t right for you.
Feel neglected or unhappy:
If you feel as though you have no interest in taking care of your partner (or they don’t take care of you), it could mean that you’re not in a healthy relationship. We all go through rough times, but if this is 99% of the time, then it’s a sign that something is off in your connection. Additionally, if you are feeling neutral or unhappy in your relationship, it isn’t the right fit. Even in the tough times, you should always feel like the relationship is going somewhere.
Lack of privacy:
If your partner refuses to give you privacy in anything from the bathroom, to space in the bedroom, to running errands, you need to have a talk about it. Help your partner understand that you need more privacy. Privacy doesn’t mean secrecy, it just means that you are a human being and need some space once in a while for your own mental and emotional health.
Never resolve fights:
If you and your partner are never able to resolve fights then it means that you aren’t a good match and need to consider going your separate ways. No matter how much you care about each other, not being able to resolve conflict is a sign that it isn’t a healthy connection.
No one wants to think that they’re in a relationship that is unhealthy. Understanding the signs and helping yourself get to a good place is critical in making sure that you can enjoy a happy and fulfilling future with someone that you love in all of the right ways.
Pivotal Counseling Center has therapists who work with couples and specialize in couples counseling and relationship issues. We have locations in Woodstock, Illinois, and Lake in the Hills, Illinois. If you are in need of someone to help, please consider giving us a call at (815) 345-3400.
Pivotal Counseling Center is now accepting Medicaid including Blue Cross Community Medicaid, Meridian Medicaid, and Molina Medicaid for outpatient counseling.
